The Only True Wisdom Is In Knowing You Know NOTHING

Today I got my first patient. Lol, having all kinds of anxious feelings about this. Having someone watch me is scary, so I'm not sure how I feel about that. Also, I'm not too sure about the charting. And I feel bad about waking them up. I want the patients to sleep bc it's better for their health, but I also want them to be awake so that I can do my assessment, lol. Idk. --okay UPDATE. OH MY GOSH. I said thank you, but why did I have to get a nonverbal patient on my first day? lol, I already stink at communication, but now I got somebody who can't even meet me halfway??? lol, the Lord was definitely testing me today. And then the stupid air bubbles. Oh my gosh, I HATE BUBBLES. I'm so sick of 'em. All they do is eat up my time and they're just SUCH JERKS. Oh my gosh. There's got to be a better way. I'm just so sick of it. Sick of IT! Ugh. Bubbles kill me. Idk man. There's so much information and there's so much public relations in it i...

lol, so today was my last day of classroom orientation. Kind of sad, and completely exhausted. I'm so tired of lectures and today I didn't have my seat buddy with me. Tbh, having to socialize 3 days in a row, today I was at my limit. Usually I would try to fake enthusiam, but today I was all pooped out. I just stared at my phone during breaks. Unfortunately, my boss came and visited on this day. It was such a shock. I have such bad luck. lol. And at lunch I actually sat alone. I was prepared for it. I didn't really want to talk to anybody. Bc then I would have to fake being interested and fake laugh and smile while they talked about things that I really didn't care about. So even though I looked like a loner, I maybe cared a little, but not enough to look around and sit with my classmates. But then surprise, surprise. A friend actually showed up! lol, she could have sat with our classmates since she knows them, but she sat with me and that was really nice. S...

July 11. 2017 It was another classroom orientation. We learned about other parts of the departments. It was kind of fun bc the girl I sat next to talked to me. It made me so glad to sit next to her. Lunch was awkward though. You know the girl that was being ostracized? She's really a nice person but she's kind of oblivious so idk. Anyways I ate lunch with her, but we sat next to our classmates. It was freaking awkward. I didn't like it and actually left lunch early and went back to the classroom. Good choice for me though, bc the person I sat next to came back to class and I got to chat with her. It's so amazing when you find people who you vibe with. They're just your people and I love my people. Unfortunately, I tend to not find very many of people that vibe with me, so it made me sad this would be my last day with them. Anyways class ended early and I went home. I like orientation. I'm definitely going to miss it.

Sigh. I did so much talking today guys. I'm so uncomfortable. I had to call help desk TWICE today. They were wonderfully wonderful people that totally deserve the 70,000+ salaries. They're so patient and wonderful, and I'm just ever so sorry they have to deal with incompetent people like me. Just thank you to all the IT people in the world. You are wonderful. And are probably underappreciated, but you're wonderful. Okay. Lol. It was...hmmm, I think I got there too early. There was only one person there, but me remembering my 20 seconds of courage, instead of sitting behind her or in front of her, I sat RIGHT NEXT TO HER. AND STARTED A CONVERSATION. THANK THE LORD THAT SHE WAS A TALKATIVE PERSON!! lol. So she was nice and I didn't have to sit by myself! But turns out she already had friends there before, so I was kind of all third-wheeling it and ended up sitting alone at lunch. Until someone else came to sit with me. She tends to be ostracized by the p...

OH. MY. GOSH. July. 7. 2017. lol, now that I've slept I'm not sure what I was going to write after that oh my gosh. But the first day was okay. I kind of ended it badly, but the people were nice. I wasn't sure what time I was suppose to clock out but it was like 7:20 and I didn't want to stay later so I kind of left without saying bye to my preceptor. I was so tired. I almost fell asleep at the wheel. And I didn't even do anything! lol, the first night was only supposed to be shadowing. I had a nice nurse to follow. Bc I'm pretty shy I'm glad she was older bc older people tend to talk a lot. It was very awkward first getting there. Bc it was during shift change and people were trying to get in and out. I had also had a lot of communication problems with my manager. I was trying to get my ID to log on but it wouldn't work. And for some reason whenever she texted or emailed me, I wasn't getting any of it! So uck, bad start. It's rea...

REaaaaaaly thought I was done with the testing. But here we go again folks. I wasn't too stressed out bc I remember the lady saying it was open note. So about 2 hours before my test I did some of the practice examples the lady had given me beforehand. Dosage calculation has always been my strength so I wasn't too worried. Until. I read over that stupid paper that said dosage calc was only 60% of the test. lol, the rest was pharmocology. knowing your meds. Grrrrr. Pharm was a class that I struggled greatly with. So at this point I started struggling. A lot. Freaking out. panicking. Googling what could possibly be on this test. Took a couple sample quizzes. Did pretty well on them. Calmed down a little. Eh. It said I only needed to make an 85%. Which out of 35 questions means I can miss about 5. Still a little freaked out I texted a classmate and asked about the test and its level of difficulty. In the meantime while I was waiting (let me just say I hate texting bc the ...

Wow. Second day! lol. Still not on the floor yet. Still haven't got a call back from my manager lady. Still confused about log ins and passwords. Really they need to make all this a lot clearer bc I'm very confused and I'm already anxious so this adds onto my pile of anxious and I really have no clue what to do. I'm guessing more phone calls. It's always calling people. Really, I'm just waiting for the day that'll I'll know what's going on with my life. Today was just computer training. We just learned charting. It was kind of different though bc we didn't have an in person trainer. Instead we had a teacher that was like a state away. It was nice but it was also different. Nice bc there wasn't somebody always watching us, but bad bc it was harder to get a word in sometimes and it was also hard to hear sometimes. We learned short cuts and how to do the scanning and ordering and it was a lot of information. We even had a quiz at the end...

First of all. I just want to say thank you and sorry to all the parents out there. To all the hard work that you do and all the expenses that you do and all the pain and suffering we kids put you through...I seriously don't know how you do it, but I'm thankful. Okay. So this is going to be a thing where I'm going to give a summary (I want it to be brief, but I blab a lot. Just when I write though; I'm pretty much just a listener and nodder in real life). And 2 things that I learned in that day. And 2 things that I can improve on. We'll try to gradually improve that to 5 and 10, but not sure. So today was first day of orientation. I was terrified. I woke up from a nightmare where we had to get into groups and go shopping for our uniform and everybody buddied up but it was an odd number and so I was alone... lol story of my life. Still sad though. So I woke up today in a very negative mood. But thinking, well, whatever comes will come. I can't stop it. So ...

I'm literally about to keel over, I'm so sleepy, so excuse my gibberish. Tomorrow will be the first day of my orientation as an RN on a neurology floor. I'm a thousand parts scared and 0% excited. But I'm hoping I can fake it till I make it. After googling neurology floor and what first day is like, I didn't get much. I think the only helpful one was a poster that said today would be just going over policy and benefits. I hope so. But I'm wondering how that's going to take 10 hours...even with an hour lunch break that's 9 hours... Idk. So, I'm just gonna wing it. I'm debating between business casual or scrubs. I'm leaning towards scrubs bc then I don't have to think about what I wear and the only business pants I own don't fit me...but I also have to go to chick fil a afterwards...and I really hate going anywhere in my scrubs... Idk. I really don't know. But what I do know is that I'm scared. I'm freaking o...